Form-ula to banking

Form-ula to banking

I had the day off so I decided it was a good time to catch up on all that pending bank work that was piling up the table. So I got READY. Ready being in capitals because when you go banking to the various banks of India, just wearing the appropriate clothing isn’t enough. Actually that isn’t anything at all. The getting READY part refers to getting proof of everything that show your vital signs are ok, you live where they think you live and most importantly duplicates. Duplicates of any, I repeat ANY forms that have been previously handed to you (it has been noticed by experts handling the banker species that they never ever tell u to get these duplicates in advance…EVER)

Having armed myself with a bundle of duplicated duplicates, I walked on to meet my destiny…why the dramatics? Well you’ll see.

1^st stop - The nearest branch of Bank A Objective- to regularize the excess debit payment made.

I walk into what I assume the insides of a snail shell would feel like. An atmosphere so sluggish, that it was catching. I state my problem at the first desk. I am told to go meet a certain Mrs.Chavan in branch B of Bank A.

2^nd stop - Branch B of Bank A Objective- remains same

I finally find the illusive Mrs.Chavan. Nothing would describe her better than a ‘typical’ member of the banking species. Plump, over middle age, spectacled, drowned in pending paper work and a grim expression.

I hand in my application (in duplicate).she responds with giving me another form(in duplicate)…the battle is on. Oh yea!

Once the form is filled, which takes a while considering details that include the date of birth of my great grandfather (paternal), I gave my form in. she studied the form for a while then looked at me nonchalantly and said that it should be done in a month. I hid a smirk as I produced the duplicate of that form I had submitted and asked her to sign plus stamp it as a of the fact that I had submitted a form (prior experience told me that this species suffers from selective memory loss). Once she signed and stamped it the waiting period automatically and somewhat magically reduced from a month to a mere two weeks. I grinned freely now, I had won this battle.

3^rd stop -Bank B Objectives-Cheque book needed. Bank B closed for unknown reasons.

4^th stop - Bank C Objective- Replace the old ATM card.

I walk to the desk I’m supposed to, a lady quite similar to Mrs.Chavan greeted with a ‘oh, yet another one’ look. I told her my needs. I was given the customary form after which she asked for a photograph (passport size) I sighed heavily. How cold I have forgotten the photographs. After a quick trip back home I returned with the photographs and handed it in. the account of the ATM card was my parents joint account. I was told NOW that only dad’s signature won’t do. There was no way in hell o was going to my mother’s office cross country for this. But since this seemed so close to hell, I walked back in two hours later and handed in my form complete with signature and photographs. Or so I thought.

My address was a different according to their records. I held on to the little pieces of sanity left in me and asked her calmly to re-check her records because the address change document was handed in TWO YEARS ago. She checked the records then sheepishly admitted that it had been done. I finally submitted THE form.

As I walked out completely drained it occurred to me that if I did this online it would save me a lot of trouble. I went back and asked about how I could activate my online banking service.

She handed me a form (in duplicate)- I had lost the war.