I'm ALWAYS right.

Through years of experience I have come to the conclusion that I am always right (not in my exams of course or in my spellings ) in general.. when it comes to life I am always right. I am not saying i like it (ok who am i kidding i love it ) . Loads of those thundering idiots who i call my friends (if you're thinking of a " birds of a feather " wise crack.. SHUT IT.), will grudgingly agree that i am. there are several instances to prove my ultimate accuracy for example once when my friend sneaked his two wheeler out of his place(which he did every other day) I took one look at him and said you are going to get caught today. he was grounded for half a month.
Once i told a friend that if she dated this particular loon she'd get dumped in less than 2 weeks. She was sobbing on my shirt (ugh) on the 12th day.
I told this love struck guy if he sticks around just a few days longer he's gonna get his girl. They were mushy texting in 2 days time (ok fine! I had an in site because i knew she liked him but STILL. Its cool)
While sneaking out of my house one night i told my friend " dude i am so gonna get caught" He said "nah! you have done this millions of times.. you NEVER get caught" my very grouchy parents opened the door for my return. The memories of what followed still hurt. ouch.

You when my predictions are most accurate? When people take my advice and don't listen to it. that is when I am ALWAYS right. Its just upsetting that usually after not listening to me they are a mess and i don't get to use the four words that give me most pleasure in the world.. so i just yell it out at them randomly a month or two later.. usually and preferably in crowded areas. Nothing in the world can give you the satisfaction of yelling I TOLD YOU SO!

The Strangeness that is ME

Well I tend to do a lot of strange things.. don't we all? here are a few things I do, I doubt most of you will identify but i sure hope so.

• When people around me are having a conversation and use a unusual term or word i drift of and start thinking of a funny story about how it got invented. (I nod the whole time and they don't suspect a thing.)
• bugs distract me like hell. Not the "EEEEEEEE!!! ITS GONNA KILL ME" way the " oo.. i wonder where it'll go next?is it a male or a fema...oh! going into her shirt.. male then." way.
• I have a terrible urge of kicking my dog when he's asleep peacefully and I HAVE TO STUDY.
• I make music videos for EVERY song I hear and i Hate messaging or talking to people as its almost like I am watching a movie.
• When i see someone say something awesome on T.V. I make up scenarios where I could be the smart one saying those things.(no im not self obsessed its just something that do involuntarily)
• I artistically draw the name of the person I am talking to on the phone.
• I make up words while talking to stupid people to see them use it on other people ( gives me immense pleasure.. no I'm not sadistic its just something i do involuntarily )
  
• I hate and love music in equal amounts.
• I find chauvinistic jokes absolutely hilarious and they don't piss me off at all.( I am not a chauvinist its just something i do involuntarily)

mom- STOP WASTING TIME!!!

well I believe that this statement completely non applicable but is used EVERYDAY by my mother, and the frequency of this statement is raising drastically as my boards get closer. It gets a tad annoying when its being yelled at various hours of the day usually sunday since she's home that day. The instances are the following(we'll do this time wise)
8:30 - GET UP!!! look at the time ! you should be up at 5 and studying! STOP WASTING TIME.
9:30 - still having breakfast?? its almost noon!! STOP WASTING TIME.
11:30- are you STILL having a bath?? honestly STOP WASTING TIME.
12:30- why are you in the kitchen?? drinking water. *the 'ya right' expression* STOP WASTING TIME.
1:30 - i'll CALL you when lunch is ready don't hang around here. STOP WASTING TIME.
2:30- what?? you want to sit online? STOP WASTING TIME.
3:30 - if i catch you asleep on your book again!! STOP WASTING TIME.
5:30 - ok so you slept for an hour and a half now sit down to study properly.STOP WASTING TIME.
6:30 - are you in the loo?? still? STOP WASTING TIME.
7:30 - put that news paper down.its not gonna come for your exams. STOP WASTING TIME.
8:30 - play with casper later, he not going anywhere.STOP WASTING TIME
9:30 - we'll have a quick dinner so you don't waste time.
10.30- look another day is over STOP WASTING TIME
11 onwards mom is asleep and i study best at night

basic inference drawn-
1.sleeping,bathing, eating, visiting the loo, art, drinking are all a waste of time.
2.its apparently not believable to simply be drinking water in the kitchen as the possibilities are limitless and also it might be a devious plan to *psst- waste time)
3.I hate Sundays.

within

hey guys ... so sorry for not blogging for a while...exams an stuff. well i worte this some time ago it's a poem called- within..well the the poem do the rest of the talking
WITHIN

Those smiles and loving gestures
don't always mean something.
When you feel sheltered in care
doesn't mean its love that's brewing.

Beware of me.
I'm not as wonderful
I'm not really what you see.

The selfless person you're seeing,
the one that's "always around"
I put a lot of work into creating
the 'nicest person' you ever found.

Don't have faith in me.
I'm not as wonderful
I'm not really what you see.

And trusting me with your dark secrets
that's the greatest folly of all.
I'll keep them-oh yes,I'll keep them
until i need you to fall.

trust is misplaced in me.
I'm not as wonderful
I'm not really what you see.

I'm just as low as you are
why assume I'm above malice and greed?
I too will devour the helpless
when my demons demand a feed.

Don't honor me.
I'm not as wonderful
I'm not really what you see.

Never abide by my judgment as law
It might make things terrible
because I'm just me and capable of flaw
or maybe I'd just do it for fun.

Stop loving me.
I'm not as wonderful
I'm not really what you see.

I tell you these things for you seem weak,
incapable of any repair
even then if you don't take heed
you will be alone in your despair.

Trust,honor,faith and love
are just not my cup of tea
I'm not as wonderful
I'm not really what you see.

I conspire. I desire . I'm a liar.

i would have loved to give an introduction first ... you know about me and what i want to blog about before thrusting Form-ula banking to my unsuspecting readers. But that is a 'no-can-do' when you have an eeeeevil older brother rampaging about and yelling at you to 'geedorrfff my comp'(translation-get off my comp) he tends to get a little unclear when in a fit.so he just cut paste that piece i wrote for a magazine before i could even start writing my intro. speaking of which...i should be getting on with that.
i just plan on typing in anything i find funny or worth writing about in here. i write all kinds of stuff as of now.. i haven't really found my forte. so if you find something that tears your heart right outta your sweater along with something deliriously funny(assuming i CAN achive those reactions). don't be alarmed bout my mental state." im not crazy.... my mother had me tested."

Form-ula to banking

Form-ula to banking

I had the day off so I decided it was a good time to catch up on all that pending bank work that was piling up the table. So I got READY. Ready being in capitals because when you go banking to the various banks of India, just wearing the appropriate clothing isn’t enough. Actually that isn’t anything at all. The getting READY part refers to getting proof of everything that show your vital signs are ok, you live where they think you live and most importantly duplicates. Duplicates of any, I repeat ANY forms that have been previously handed to you (it has been noticed by experts handling the banker species that they never ever tell u to get these duplicates in advance…EVER)

Having armed myself with a bundle of duplicated duplicates, I walked on to meet my destiny…why the dramatics? Well you’ll see.

1^st stop - The nearest branch of Bank A Objective- to regularize the excess debit payment made.

I walk into what I assume the insides of a snail shell would feel like. An atmosphere so sluggish, that it was catching. I state my problem at the first desk. I am told to go meet a certain Mrs.Chavan in branch B of Bank A.

2^nd stop - Branch B of Bank A Objective- remains same

I finally find the illusive Mrs.Chavan. Nothing would describe her better than a ‘typical’ member of the banking species. Plump, over middle age, spectacled, drowned in pending paper work and a grim expression.

I hand in my application (in duplicate).she responds with giving me another form(in duplicate)…the battle is on. Oh yea!

Once the form is filled, which takes a while considering details that include the date of birth of my great grandfather (paternal), I gave my form in. she studied the form for a while then looked at me nonchalantly and said that it should be done in a month. I hid a smirk as I produced the duplicate of that form I had submitted and asked her to sign plus stamp it as a of the fact that I had submitted a form (prior experience told me that this species suffers from selective memory loss). Once she signed and stamped it the waiting period automatically and somewhat magically reduced from a month to a mere two weeks. I grinned freely now, I had won this battle.

3^rd stop -Bank B Objectives-Cheque book needed. Bank B closed for unknown reasons.

4^th stop - Bank C Objective- Replace the old ATM card.

I walk to the desk I’m supposed to, a lady quite similar to Mrs.Chavan greeted with a ‘oh, yet another one’ look. I told her my needs. I was given the customary form after which she asked for a photograph (passport size) I sighed heavily. How cold I have forgotten the photographs. After a quick trip back home I returned with the photographs and handed it in. the account of the ATM card was my parents joint account. I was told NOW that only dad’s signature won’t do. There was no way in hell o was going to my mother’s office cross country for this. But since this seemed so close to hell, I walked back in two hours later and handed in my form complete with signature and photographs. Or so I thought.

My address was a different according to their records. I held on to the little pieces of sanity left in me and asked her calmly to re-check her records because the address change document was handed in TWO YEARS ago. She checked the records then sheepishly admitted that it had been done. I finally submitted THE form.

As I walked out completely drained it occurred to me that if I did this online it would save me a lot of trouble. I went back and asked about how I could activate my online banking service.

She handed me a form (in duplicate)- I had lost the war.